Fragile Things
by RoseWalker
Summary: The ultimate sacrifice. Song fic. Death of main character! Establshed relationship Arthur/Merlin.


**Title: **Fragile Things

**Pairings:** Arthur/Merlin

**Spoilers: **None

**WARNINGS:** Angst and a very serious case of DEATH of a main character. You have been warned! Established relationship.

**Disclaimer: **Merlin not mine *sob* It's the BBC's though I want to rob them and get away with Bradley and Colin ^_^! 'My Last Breath' belongs to Evenescence.

**Summary:** The ultimate sacrifice.

**Notes: **Ok so yeah here is one of huge, major angsting fics. I succumbed to my nic-name, Shinigami (for those not in the know that's god of death in Japanese). You can tell when I love my characters. I kill them off… sorry! _

_Lyrics in Italics_

-x-

_Hold on to me love  
you know I can't stay long  
all I wanted to say was I love you and I'm not afraid  
can you hear me?  
can you feel me in your arms?_

"Arthur!" As much as it should have been a shout, it was nearer a breath, but to Arthur's ears, it may as well have been. The Prince held him before he could slump to the floor. Merlin's blue eyes were wide and glazed with pain as he looked at his master. "Hold me," Merlin whispered into the prince's ear. Arthur nodded silently and wrapped his arms tighter around his manservant, friend and lover. His hand reached for the blade protruding from his back. Merlin shook his head. "Leave it."

All around them, the room was a hive of activity. Uther was shouting orders. Knights restraining the traitor, one of their own, one Arthur had hand picked himself. People all around them screaming, yelling and shouting in horror, Gwen and Morgana included. Merlin and Arthur were lost in their own bubble.

"I haven't got long," Merlin murmured, his voice hitching slightly. Arthur was trying to remain calm, he had seen men die in his name before, but this situation was breaking him. This was never supposed to have happened, Merlin was never really supposed to die for him.

Merlin seemed to read his mind. "I'm not afraid to die." The idiot was still smiling, he was in his last moments and he was still damn well smiling. He raised a shaking hand and cupped Arthur's cheek, trailed trembling fingers across his lips. His blue eyes stared directly into Arthur's. "I love you." Arthur remained silent. "Do you hear me? Can you feel me here, in your arms, where I belong? I wouldn't want to be anywhere else."

_holding my last breath  
safe inside myself  
are all my thoughts of you  
sweet rapture light it ends here tonight_

He gasped for air; it was getting harder to breath as each moment passed, his lungs becoming less willing to be filled, his heart slowing gradually. He knew he was holding his breath for longer each time, just to keep himself going. He could still feel the blade of the dagger embedded his back, he could feel the blood escaping around it, each second of his life flowing with it. Even as he felt Arthur lowering him to the floor, his only thoughts were of the prince and how he was still wonderfully and beautifully alive. His task had been achieved. He had traded his own life to save Arthur's. Wasn't that what this was all about? Wasn't that what he had always wanted? Making sure Arthur would become the greatest king that ever lived. If he, Merlin, had to die to achieve that, then so be it.

All the time that he had spent in Camelot had been filled with Arthur, even from the first moment. Of course, they had hated each other at first but fate and destiny had dragged them together. First as Prince and manservant, then quickly becoming friends. As time moved on, they had become more to each other. Soon it was unbearable to be apart, they needed each other just to breathe. Their love making was simply a joining of two parts to make a whole, a natural next step in their relationship. They never felt complete unless they were lost in each other.

But that joy. That light.

Gone, with a single thrust of a blade.

_I'll miss the winter  
a world of fragile things  
look for me in the white forest  
hiding in a hollow tree (come find me)_

_I know you hear me  
I can taste it in your tears_

"I'll miss you," Merlin whispered. "I'll miss the winters we shared together, when everything seemed so fragile and yet we were so alive." He smiled again, then winced as pain shot down his back. "Think of me when it snows. Search for me in the forest. In the trees. I'll be there, watching you. Come and find me when I'm gone." He raised Arthur's head by placing his fingers under his chin, he knew Arthur was listening; he just didn't want Merlin to think he was weak.

The Prince could never be weak in Merlin's eyes. Even now, Merlin's heart ached for him. He licked his lips as warm tears fell upon them. He looked into Arthur's face, watching with fascination as tears fell from his reddened eyes. In all the time they had known each other, Merlin had never seen Arthur cry.

_holding my last breath  
safe inside myself  
are all my thoughts of you  
sweet raptured light it ends here tonight_

Arthur looked at his lover with dismay, anger and pain. The pain hurt more than anything he had ever known. Even a battle wound had never hurt like this. It stabbed through his heart as surely as the dagger had stabbed through Merlin's back. How could this have happened? Merlin was supposed to be by his side, always. Be his support, his pillar. How could this amazing man, who had taken over his mind so completely, be lying in a pool of his own blood? Arthur knew it was soaking through his breeches but barely registered the feeling. He couldn't bear to look, to see the truth, it would make it real. All he could feel was the limp body in his arms as the life was slowly fading.

Arthur had always teased Merlin about being too skinny, but he had never known him as fragile as he was now, a limp doll, growing paler by the moment. Even as he looked at his lover, all their shared memories flashed before him, including the winters that Merlin had mentioned. His voice stuck in his throat, not daring to shatter the inevitable last moments he had with the man he cherished beyond anything. It was too much to take and he had to look away from Merlin, until the delicate hand of the sorcerer pulled him back.

_closing your eyes to disappear  
you pray your dreams will leave you here  
but still you wake and know the truth  
no one's there_

Merlin could see Arthur's eyes close, a slight frown between his brows. He knew Arthur was thinking. Praying that he was just holding Merlin in his arms, as he always did. Hoping that he would wake up and this was all a nightmare. Wishing that these last few moments would halt and he would be able to hold Merlin in this limbo forever.

His eyes fluttered open, and Merlin's heart wrenched as he saw the disappointment there. Nothing had changed. Reality was a cruel master. Arthur knew he would be alone. The realisation was a dark blemish in Arthur's eyes.

_say goodnight  
don't be afraid  
calling me calling me as you fade to black_

"I'm so cold." Merlin shuddered; it was such a weak movement. Arthur tried to hold him closer to share his body heat, despite knowing it would be in vain. Merlin was fading fast. "Goodnight my love." Arthur looked at that sweet, pale face in confusion. "Surely goodnight is better than goodbye. Goodbye is final, isn't it? Say goodnight, Arthur."

"Merlin, I-" His breath stuck once more, he couldn't mess this up. These would be the last words he would ever say to his lover. Again that hand against his cheek, but it felt so cold. "Goodnight Merlin," he finally managed in a whisper.

"Don't be afraid of the future." He smiled once more. Arthur could feel the hand slipping from his cheek and he grabbed it.

"Merlin. Don't. I can't do this alone. Please stay with me. Please. You can't- Merlin! Merlin!" The blue eyes had closed.

_holding my last breath  
safe inside myself  
are all my thoughts of you  
sweet raptured light it ends here tonight_

Arthur was sure his heart had stopped beating. He couldn't breathe. If he did, he knew the harsh reality he would face and he couldn't cope with it. He brushed Merlin's fringe away from his face with trembling fingers. Even as his vision blurred further, he lowered his mouth to Merlin's; their last kiss. The slightly parted lips still holding warmth, despite the lack of breath. Arthur took his final taste of his lover, before standing upright with Merlin in his arms. Back straight and ignoring everyone around him, Arthur strode out of the room carrying the most precious possession he ever had. Even now his mind played scenes of their time together over and over and over…

His light was gone.

So fragile.


End file.
